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 The Puppy Dog Eyes .I'm sure no explanation is necessary for this one, but it should only ever be attempted by cute dogs.

If it at first seems ineffective, try tilting your head a little to one side and pricking up your ears. If ten minutes of the dough eyes doesn't work, something is terribly wrong, either; your person hasn't got a heart, you're simply not cute enough, or you're owner has just got too little sight to see your begging stares you wally! Yeah all right, all right, I know, I should have realised before the six month mark, but my dad was a golden retriever so I inevitably inherited a certain amount of blondness from him!

And now for the one you've all been waiting for, my own personal feeding alarm ritual, all hail;

The Heavy Head 

I think the real secret to the success of the Heavy Head for guide dogs in particular is it's very tactile approach. Due to my unimaginable clever trevorness, my head is understandably very, very heavy. For any dogs who aren't as brainy as me therefore are lighter in the head department, try cheating and adding weight by a sly hidden rock under the tongue (please note; never ever swallow, it won't have a happy ending, trust me!)

Step 1 – Whilst your feeder is sitting, place your head firmly on their knee, applying as much force as possible onto their lap as to ensure that they have definably noticed you're there. If you find it difficult to get into the zone of what angle your character is coming from, just get into the mind set of 'oh my poor emaciated body is just far too weak and hungry to support this huge brainy head of mine, will you hold it for me for a while until dinner time?'

Step 2 – Either incorporate the Puppy Eyes, or for those of us with visually impaired owners wag your tail just enough to make your body sway lightly, therefore alerting them to your joyful anticipation.

Step 3 – A little dribble can't hurt, if you're lucky and have a vain owner, they should immediately leap into feeding action as to minimize any drool damage to their precious clothes.

So there you have it, the main basis of the dinner time alarm call. Why not have a mix and match, try different combinations, adapt the techniques a little to suit your personal needs until you find the method that works best for you. It's half four, I'm off! Happy pestering, puppies!

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