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My Life As A Widower

It was just over one year ago that God called home a very dear and very special person. This event threw my life into turmoil and left me wondering what I was going to do without my precious Ellie.At the time I couldn't see a way forward, but with fantastic support from family, friends and Oapschat here I am today.

I sat down and said to myself, "what would Ellie want me to do?" Once I figured that out, I set about re-organising my life. Quite soon after her passing came two very poignant dates. Our 33rd wedding anniversary and the day after her daughter's 60th birthday. It was a very emotional time coming so soon, but between my step-daughter, my daughter-in-law Janette, my son and the grandchildren, we worked our way through it.

I took up my dancing again, line dancing and rock and roll. I started to play golf on a regular basis and began to build a routine

Gradually I got that I was able to talk about her to my friends and that helped me tremendously to come to terms with this significant loss in my life. The next event was my birthday, but by far the worst was her birthday that followed. We did(as a family) what we always did, and celebrated with a meal out. When talking to one of my golf friends, he suggested that a change of scenery would do me good. I booked a holiday, not too far so that if I couldn't cope then I could come home.It turned out to be a great week.

I met some lovely people and had a great time. So another hurdle overcome and I know that I can do it again

Then came the biggest hurdle of all:- Christmas.I was dreading it. I went over to my step-daughter's, she was brilliant, never let me get down and her husband made sure my glass was always full. Great time but all of us aware of an empty space in the room, but there it is,we got through and made the best of the day.

My Life As A Widower

Roses to mark Ellie's first anniversary

Of course this February was the first anniversary of her passing. We went up to the golf course and placed roses on her tree that I had planted for her some 5 or 6 years earlier. Things were going well when Ellie's brother who lived in Belgium, passed away. I wanted to go to Belgium, because if Ellie had been alive she would have wanted to go if she was able.

So my step-daughter and her husband and myself went for his funeral. It was eerie that he should pass away just a year on from his sister

So here we are today wondering what else could be thrown at me. It's been some year one way or another. I know that without the huge support from my daughter and my son and the grandchildren then who knows!!!. I suppose I am blessed with the support that I have, some I know have no-one and that must be so difficult.

Oh I almost forgot to mention my best friend and my constant companion, the little monster, Sadie. She is good company and has given me some purpose.

The hardest thing to come to terms with is the emptiness of the house, no-one to share the days events with. Sometimes I yearn for the phone to ring

My Life As A Widower

My beloved Sadie

I have made many new friends, particularly on the Oapschat website. They have all helped me on the way. I say to anyone in the same position, get up, dust yourself off, you are the most important one now, so get on with living and try to enjoy it.

Of course you will as I have, many treasured memories, those will be held close to your heart for you to rejoice in the times you had.

Good luck!

Meet The Author...
Norman Turner
Who Am I?

I was born in August 1942. I have three sisters. My parents both died when I was in my early twenties. I started my career as a police cadet and became a police constable when I was 19 yrs old. After many jobs, I joined the Prison Service in 1969 and stayed 31 years. I was awarded the imperial service medal by HM the Queen for long and faithful service.I have four children from my first marriage and two step children from my second marriage to my dear Ellie. She passed away last February so now it is just me. I live near Littlehampton. My hobbies include golf, sea fishing and dancing(ballroom, line dancing and rock and roll). I also enjoy long walks with my little dog who is now my best friend and company.

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