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trevor B Swine flu poem

My poem, Swine flu, was written at the height of the epidemic in 2010.

The writing of the poem was made all the easier by the hysteria surrounding the ailment. A government advice leaflet told people not to go out, but to get a neighbour to pick up their medicine for them; the poor neighbours were expendable it seemed. Those inflicted with the porky pestilence were advised to say off work, and amazingly, told not to go to the doctor’s surgery if they were showing symptoms, they could be diagnosed over the phone instead.

In the end, the poem virtually wrote itself. It took just under half an hour to write and that included a break to wipe coffee off the screen of my monitor after the Image of the Black Death, style door markings leapt into my mind.


A friend of mine felt rather poorly
so he rang up the doctor, who said,
'don't come round here to the surgery,
we'll diagnose you remotely instead.'

The doctor said, 'have you been coughing
and sneezing and feeling quite hot.'
My friend said, 'yes and I have a sore throat.'
the doc said, 'that's swine flu you've got.'

The doc said,' Do you have a neighbour
who can nip to the chemist for you?'
I'd better prescribe a bit extra,
because she'll need some of it too.'

He said, 'Stay inside for a fortnight,
don't go to work, call the boss.
We'll send someone round to nail up your door,
and mark it with a big cross.'

'If you or your partner should die there,
keep the body inside.
A cart will come round to collect it,
we don't charge, you'll get a free ride.'

'Those Tami flu pills, have some weird side effects.
They're worse than the illness, you know.
So if your nose is already running,
you may as well go with the flow.’

Meet The Author...
Trevor Belshaw
Who Am I?

Trevor Belshaw, aka T A Belshaw and Trevor Forest, hails from the village of Ruddington in Nottinghamshire. Trevor was married to Doreen, who sadly passed away last year and has two grown up children, Tamsyn and Daniel, two grandchildren, Minnie and William, a mad Springer Spaniel called Maisie and an upstairs cat named Misha.

Trevor has produced two satire based adult novels for Crooked Cat Publishing, Tracy's Hot Mail and Tracy's Celebrity Hot Mail and twelve children’s books (ages 7-11), including Peggy Larkin's War, The Wishnotist, Stanley Stickle Hates Homework and The Magic Molly series written under the name Trevor Forest. He is currently working on the seventh Magic Molly book, Magic Molly and the Murky Marshes.

All of Trevor’s books are available in Kindle and paperback versions. The first Magic Molly book, Magic Molly, The Mirror Maze is currently FREE for Kindle users

Visit Trevor's Facebook Authors page here!

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